25 03 2006 An apology to all the media
We are very embarrassed by our gracelessness, wilful cheating, arrogance and ruthlessness. We hate our players
(overpaid mercenaries to a man), our manager (Win at all costs, arrogant cheat) and our owner (corrupt, ruthless, evil,
bagel-eating kyke).
We look back fondly on the days when the Sun and other tabloids used to love us as we hurtled towards our next
inevitable defeat and plummeted into the second division.
Bankruptcy was a particular joy as we set up collection bays outside the ground.
Players like Darren Wood, Mickey Nutton, Graeme Wilkins and Trevor Aylott might not have been world-beaters but they
were honest toilers and English to the core.
The 6 or 7 thousand of us who stood on the rotting terraces at Stamford Bridge had much to be proud of.
Now what do we have? Full houses, wealth and undreamed of success. That sort of stuff, as you all know, is reserved
exclusively for the Manchester Uniteds, Arsenals and Liverpools of the world yet we have had the effrontery to overtake
all three of them and win the damned lot. We should know our place in society - its the English way; Upstairs Downstairs
and all that!
Please continue your campaign to vilify us at every opportunity because we have to return to those halcyon days under
Blanchflower, Porterfield, Hollins, Webb and Shellito. All of the true blue Chelsea fans are behind you and working with
you - just check the Chelsea Official Chat page!
© Sir Les Patterson 2006